i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is wine microwaveable?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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