can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
