Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
