Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
