She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
