the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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