i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
