I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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