No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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