my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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