Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize