Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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