there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
