When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
