I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize