you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
