I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
