I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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