I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
