I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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