how can u be prego again
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
