if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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