I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That was an excessively violent trivia night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
