I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
