she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
