I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
