Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
