why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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