we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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