On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
