I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
