the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
