Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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