listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
