is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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