I wannas sexs uuuuu
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize