marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Drake has all the answers
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
