Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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