No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
