Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
