if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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