You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
