When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
