She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
