I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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