Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
