im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
