she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
