He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
