All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think your dad took our porno
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
