Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
