sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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