Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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