i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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