You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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