Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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