i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
