i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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