I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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